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| Harjot Atwal |
This quote from the University of Pennsylvania’s Medical School website struck me as involving some good followup ideas to a previous article I wrote on perfectionism based on the Law Society of Ontario’s (LSO’s) Mental Health Summit for Legal Professionals 2024.
Who hasn’t been on LinkedIn, looked at other people posting about their various professional successes (and sometimes more personal victories) and become a little jealous? I know I have.
You see all these people decked out to the nines in swanky suits and beautiful dresses. They may be attending fancy dinners, engaging in networking events or receiving prestigious awards. Alternatively, they are dressed super professionally and happily announcing new jobs they have obtained or posting pictures of presenting at continuing professional development (CPD) programs.
Don’t their lives and careers seem so perfect?
While LinkedIn is great for getting news updates (as I generally tend to see promotions of interesting CPD events related to real estate law there first, whether from my professional contacts or from the various companies I follow), social media also invariably invites comparison. Particularly when someone gets a lot of likes, I think it is natural to look at that and wonder why you can’t achieve the same.
After all, according to the Lately podcast discussing how “LinkedIn is weird right now” earlier this month: “I think at the end of the day, we all just want to be cool. And [that may go] back to like some high school … human nature thing, right?”
The issue with creating unrealistic expectations of how high we need to achieve or what we should own is that it is linked to higher rates of anxiety. We’re (subconsciously perhaps) striving for a standard of perfection that does not exist, which then sets us up for a perceived failure. The mental anxiety then turns to physical symptoms and can cause additional mental health issues. The University of Pennsylvania notes insomnia, physical tension and headaches can occur, with perfectionism then serving as the underlying cause behind major depressive disorders, generalized anxiety disorders and eating disorders.
A close cousin of perfectionism is imposter syndrome. The term was coined in the 1970s to describe high-achieving individuals who nonetheless experienced psychological symptoms related to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. In 2020, a systematic review of 62 studies showed prevalence rates of imposter syndrome (for people experiencing it at one point or another) as high as 56 per cent to 82 per cent in college and graduate students as well as those working in a variety of professions.
I certainly knew the feeling in law school, as I wrote here that I thought everyone was smarter than I at times, and that I would never get a strong enough grasp of the materials to become a good lawyer.
Not only is imposter syndrome linked to anxiety and depression, but it can also lead to burnout, exhaustion, psychological distress, rigid thinking, avoidance of high-level or demanding tasks and dismissal of positive feedback.
Ultimately, both perfectionism and imposter syndrome are the byproduct of an unbalanced desire to achieve and succeed, which can hinder you from flourishing in your career when that desire devolves into a crippling, self-critical set of internal demands designed unrealistically to meet impossible goals and plans.
Personally, I know part of this logic is why I haven’t been on Facebook in like 10 years. But, is LinkedIn as bad? One could argue it’s not like people are posting pictures of the wonderful dishes they are eating at expensive restaurants, displaying enviable vacation pictures or showing off impressive physiques and workout regimens.
Well, the Lately podcast linked above describes how LinkedIn is also becoming increasingly addictive, which becomes problematic as it increasingly appears that one cannot tell whether certain kinds of posts are real or not. Indeed, the presenters mention this is why they do not want to download the app.
I think when you combine this addictive effect of social media with the natural tendency to compare yourself (usually negatively) to others and then add in the desire to achieve and succeed as much as these more “perfect” people, then something like LinkedIn can become quite detrimental to your mental health.
How do we fix this? Should we all delete our LinkedIn accounts? What if we depend on it for business referrals or relevant news from our respective legal practice areas?
In my mind, it boils down to accepting we are flawed human creatures. We make mistakes, but we learn from them. Being successful in your life and career does not necessarily equate to how much salary you make, the expensive kind of car you drive, the fancy house you go home to at night or any other material pleasures in this world.
Personally, I will consider myself “successful” if I manage to get married, have a wife and kids someday and make enough money to love and support them. Others may have more complex goals, but for me, it’s pretty simple.
As Jeremy Tyler further mentions:
Personally, I feel wiser from making mistakes. If we were perfect creatures, we would be a fairly naïve species. Mistakes build character and empathy, and they teach us how to practice compassion for ourselves and in turn, others when they mess up…Instead of perfection, strive for teamwork. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and by working together and letting someone help you when you have a weakness, you’ll find more happiness. A team is stronger than one person trying to be perfect.
I think that sums it up better than I can. After all, I’ll ask (in a friendly but tongue-in-cheek kind of way): I shouldn’t try to be perfect, right?
Harjot Atwal is a real estate lawyer. In 2023, he opened up his own shop, Atwal Law Firm. You can reach him via email at harjot@atwallawfirm.ca, by phone at 905-264-8926 or on LinkedIn.
The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not reflect the views of the author’s firm, its clients, Law360 Canada, LexisNexis Canada or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.
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