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| Marcel Strigberger |
Police in Los Angeles arrested four folks, one of whom dressed up in a bear costume and proceeded to break into three luxury cars, including a Rolls, parked at Lake Arrowhead in the San Bernardino area. The “bear” caused damage and filed fraudulent insurance claims getting the insurers to pay our $142,000. To be more convincing this quartet even videoed one of the incidents.
Given that there were some similarities in time and place for these events, the insurance conducted further investigation, which involved a biologist from the Department of Fish and Wildlife. The biologist reviewed the video and concluded the bear in question was not a real Yogi. What raised the biologist’s suspicion was firstly the only bears in the state are black bears. This bruin was light brown. Not being an expert in animal wildlife, I would accept I would argue that this bear perhaps came over for a vacation to Lake Arrowhead. Plausible, no?
As well apparently this car crasher did not exhibit 100 per cent bearlike behavior. The video shows that he approached the videographer looking like he was about to give him a bear hug but instead gave him a high five.
What really convinced the biologist that this creature in question was not as good as the average bear, was his movements, including how he was waving around a flashlight. (Okay. I exaggerate. Actually, it was a mallet). This was the icing on the cake or, rather, the honey in the pot.
Police obtained a search warrant to inspect the culprits’ residence, and they attended, loaded for bear. And lo and behold, they came across a bear costume, and some clawing tools. The authorities dubbed this scheme “Operation Bear Claw.”
I’d say these guys are facing a generous jail sentence. I can see a judge coming down hard on them.
JUDGE: The defendants have been found guilty of insurance fraud while impersonating a bear. The sentence must send a message to all to achieve general deterrence. There is simply too much bear crime happening. I think of the case of The People v. Goldilocks where the accused, uninvited, entered the house of the three bears, Poppa Bear, Momma Bear and Baby Bear, whereupon she wreaked havoc, tasting their porridge, upsetting their chairs and falling asleep in Baby Bear’s bed.
Goldilocks incidentally was actually a juvenile whose real name was Elsa van Schroeder. While committing her break-in, she put on a disguise, namely a curly blond wig. Given the severity and egregiousness of her offense, she was tried in as an adult.
I doubt they will receive any leniency. What you had here was a devious scheme, made to pin the blame on an innocent ursus. The perpetrator in the car was not what he appeared to be. He was a cheat in bear’s clothing.
I expect they will be hibernating for a while in jail. And they will have to accept their new lodgings, like it or not. They’ll just have to grin and bear it.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book, Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging, is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new(!) book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe, is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X: @MarcelsHumour.
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