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| Marcel Strigberger |
This story is not about banks directly, although it does involve big bucks and there are lots of banks there. Nor is it about that vile and pungent alleged edible, though there is lots of cheese there too. It’s more about tailgaters. I take you to the land of banks and Emmenthal — Switzerland.
A 58-year-old lawyer was convicted of tailgating and fined about 100,000 francs, being the whopping equivalent of about US$110,000. Apparently, the Swiss courts can impose penalties based on the accused’s taxable income. They figure a fine of a couple of $100 would be meaningless to a zillionaire and a larger fine might act as a deterrent. This colleague of ours was a millionaire, earning about US$1.8 million annually. The hefty penalty was actually about double the value of his BMW.
Did the punishment fit the crime? 100 per cent. Not much freaks me out more than being tailgated while I comfortably and nonchalantly drive the speed limit in the slow lane. I would add I have similar sentiments for a huge penalty for Parmesan cheese aficionados. Were there to be some passenger in my car daring to unleash a chunk of this yellow kryptonite, I’d call 911. Where’s the passenger seat ejection button? I almost feel like contacting my member of Parliament to put forth a private member’s bill restricting the use of this product to at least 50 metres away from any Italian restaurant.
I would also add that fines should include a surcharge for bankers. Send them a message they will be paying more money than usual.
That Swiss lawyer argued that the law did not indicate how close one tail must be to be considered a tailgater. The photographic evidence showed he drove in the area of 74 miles per hour and was about cheek to jowl behind the tailgatee. Holy Matterhorn! Give me a break.
He actually appealed the decision to the Swiss Supreme Court. I wonder how his Notice of Appeal read:
The grounds of appeal are:
1. The penalty of 100,000 francs is egregious, excessive and cuckoo.
Well maybe I exaggerate. He probably did not say “egregious.”
There was a silver lining to the sentencing. The lawyer was given a two-year suspended sentence, meaning he will not have to pay the US$110K if he commits no other offence during the two years. Swiss justice, Bah! However, he was also ordered to pay court fees of about US$14,500.
I’ll accept this bone of magnanimity for now.
It occurred to me that given that fines for some driving offences are measured by the wealth of the perpetrator, what would happen if Elon Musk, the richest dude in the world, would try driving in Switzerland? Then again, I doubt he would take the chance. He’d likely take the train, or maybe Uber. Or, more than likely, he would just buy Switzerland.
Marcel Strigberger retired from his Greater Toronto Area litigation practice and continues the more serious business of humorous author and speaker. His book, Boomers, Zoomers, and Other Oomers: A Boomer-biased Irreverent Perspective on Aging, is available on Amazon (e-book) and in paper version. His new(!) book First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe, is available on Amazon, Apple and other book places. Visit www.marcelshumour.com. Follow him on X: @MarcelsHumour.
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